The dark night of the soul is a phase in the beginning stages of Awakening where you are not ready to move forward and you try to cling in to your old life and old relationships. It is a grieving process of a life that is now lost and you dont know what to do next. It usually feels depressing because we feel stuck and unproductive in this stage. It is also very common to not have any passion for anything and due to the depression that follows from the lack of passion, we tend to be very fatigued and sleep a lot. It is very good to know that this phase will pass and the whole purpose of this process is to make your biological self aligned with source/god/universe so remember to rest a lot, your brain is literally rewired to receive more energy and de-clutter your mind from past concrete thinking. You are on an important phase of realizing you are the dreamer of the dream (physical universe) so allow your physical biological self to catch on to this realization by resting as much as you can. Try to enjoy the fact that you are in a sped up process of self realization or Awakening from the dream of birth and death.
Let me say first that there are proofed medical benefits for smoking marijuana for those for are truly are in physical even mental pain. This podcast is addressed to daily psychedelic users such as pot heads but who are already on the path of ascending from this physical dream. Now all that said, Ascension or awakening from the physical experience of birth and death is a process of reaching higher dimensions. It is a process of becoming naturally blissful while you still appear to be in a body. So if you use drugs such as marijuana on daily basis it may lead to a point where you realize it keeps you stuck in lower frequencies. It may have given you a temporary expansion of consciousness giving you clues that there is more to life before your awakening progress but now it seems to drag you down… I know, I did not like this too. It can be quite shocking to realize that even the hippie and new age community in the 60s and 70s was part of the great deception and in fact promoted the culture of daily use of drugs to young people to keep them to stay dependent on drugs like marijuana rather than realizing the benefits of meditation and the desire awaken. 🙂
Maybe smoking once in a rare while is not bad. I may try it one day.
All that said. Here is the podcast below.
If you are lazy to read you can listen to the article.
Awakening from the dream of physical world and body, or in other words, awakening from the dream of a life of being born as a body, to eventually work hard to survive and to eventually die as a body is a growing phenomenon happening all around our world now. People have been introduced to this new way of being either true tragic such as a mental breakdown, loosing a job, loosing a loved one, loosing health and so forth, that makes the individual question the meaning of existence in a more authentic and inquired way rather than just intellectualizing it to sound more wiser to others. Many people have been reporting similar stories of collapsing and having an out of body experience where their consciousness gets seemingly removed from the body and they see themselves in a tunnel like place and a light at the very end of the tunnel which reminds the seeming individual that there is more to life than what our perception (5 senses) shows us and that consciousness is not limited to our brain. Some people have a more gentle introduction to this new way of being by simply reading about quantum mechanics or a metaphysical book like the Power Of Now by Echart Tolle or just stumbling across a blog post such as this which makes the reader more obsessed with seeking more information to confirm that this is what is going on and is a topic that should be paid attention to. There are also a number of people who have been into conspiracy theories, and although the basics are true which is that we are all slaves within a system governed by few insane satan/ego consciousness worshipping individuals who invented religion, health care, hollywood and our economic system to exploit souls, these people who are into conspiracy theories have naturally given up on this subject because they have finally understood that all it does is stimulate negativity, paranoia and fear into their minds which keeps us stuck in linear time, so they end up giving it up and lean towards a more positive direction which eventually leads them to metaphysical and mystical direction, the way out of this world or the process of healing the mind that is projecting a dream of a world and body. The dream of separation.
However, being awakened in the beginning stages, although exciting and should be so, does not make you special. It is a natural process of evolution. In fact, from the worlds point of view you may be considered valueless to the world because most of the times the people who end up going trough the beginning stages of awakening from the dream of birth and death in a western set up especially will find it very hard to function in a world that was designed almost perfectly to keep the sleepers asleep. Having all the universal energy running trough your open egoless mind can make you very tired at times. For example in Buddhist tradition it is normal to find refuge after awakening because the noise and demands of the world becomes overwhelming. The world we see outside of us is basically a result of dreaming so all it does is that it will always promote complicated systems, people in power, people in medicine, in media, in news, in science, in music and film industry, all that are coming from a place of unconsciousness, in other words, they are coming from a place of making the world and body real to us and something we must take seriously not realizing and admitting that there is nothing to take serious about this world because we are literally dreaming our lives and have the power to change the content of our dreaming at any time. To be co- creators of life.
When you start awakening and you see beyond the falsity of this world or matrix which results you being stuck in two opposite worlds, one at the earthly plane and the other one being sometimes blissfully high in a different dimension only to come back to the earthly plane and depressed of not being ready to reach home yet, you will most likely find it hard to function in the physical world, in relationships and in all areas of your life for a while. A typical result is to end up isolating your self from the world around you and find solace in aloness because not only are you realizing that our so called leaders, news reports, scientist, religion, medicine and famous artist are coming from a place of unconsciousness, you will also realize that your previous decisions before your awakening with relationships, hobbies and ambition was also coming from a place of unconsciousness, to serve your ego desires! You will realize that all your decisions regarding friends, relatives, hopes and dreams, prior to your process to awaken from the dream of birth and death, have been made by you to distract you from reaching Enlightenment, the way out of this dream. I think this is why many are avoiding Enlightenment because you are basically seeing the truth of who you really are by contrasting it with who you are not. You are seeing that pretty much all of your relationships, hobbies and ambitions, the good and the bad were conditioned by you to remain in a literal sleep and throw your power away. This is why so many people who are awakening have reported the same old story which happened to me as well which is that pretty much all relationships with friends, family, hopes and dreams ends up falling apart once the individual sees beyond the veil (starts to awaken from the dream of birth and death). These individuals and activities served you to keep your ego identity intact which was your secret wish and forgotten reason you started dreaming of a world and a body in the first place but if you really are for the job to leave the dream, it also means that you must reach a point of letting go of your false self and everything that perpetuated that false identity. The process of letting go of your old or false self is basically done by what I call mini deaths so if you have a relationship that was chosen from a place of unconsciousness such as the fear of being alone or a need for validation and love, for survival etc. this relationship will be removed to learn more self love and trust your self. If you have a crappy 9 to 5 job which only motivation was to make money to survive, the job will sooner or later fall apart for you to learn to trust the universe in difficult times and to see if you are able to be kind to yourself and to others while going trough these difficulties. Since you are the dreamer of physical universe (the dream of birth and death), at some point as you advance in your awakening, you will realize that it is not God that is placing you to go trough these situations, it is you who is doing the whole thing for the sake of your and mankinds evolution. If you have strong resistance to these radical changes that will take place once you answer the call to awaken from this insane dream of birth and death I can assure you life will do the work for you because you can not be around certain individuals or circumstances anymore anyway. Many of your old friends and family members and people in general will hate you and will try to pull you back to their beliefs that serves to keep remaining in the dream or matrix. They will unconsciously, or the fear of losing you, try to pull you back to ego consciousness, to distract you back to body identification rather than being a lucid dreamer. Inside they know that you are indeed dying but in a good way, that you are graduating from the earth plane and going to a completely new vibration or dimensions of existence and since they are too addicted to ego consciousness, the body, the drama, the fear, the mind chatter and the pain, they are not ready to let go.
People who are still asleep are in other words addicted to ego consciousness that gives them the illusion of being a brain body complex. It has been going on for so long that letting it go is hard and if you have been into drugs like I have the typical step of letting go of your addiction to drugs or alcohol is to let go of the people who are into the habit! This is basically why the common symptom of awakening/letting go of ego consciousness involves releasing the people who are not ready to do the same. Not sharing the same addiction for drama there is basically nothing to share anymore, no reason to be around, nothing to talk about and when you let go of ego consciousness this is exactly what happens with your old friends, work environment and even family. It will all fade away. If you resist this natural process and stay with them you will see it can get very awkward, hopeless and difficult to have a conversation with people absorbed by ego consciousness because they will unconsciously talk about their lives or events in the world that has nothing to do with what is true. Even if you do not talk things will be painfully awkward because in reality we are minds and we communicate to one another telepathically so in some level your old relationships will sense that you have changed… Most of them seeing it as a bad thing. For example in my case, when I went trough the dark night of the soul which is a word for a rapid expansion of awakening and I was more introverted than ever, one of my old friend while high and drunk asked me disapointed “what happened to that alpha male Klem I used to know?”
So do not panic when relationships starts to fade away and people will distance themselves from you or you will distance your self from them. You are growing out of your peer group, this is normal, this is evolution! If you try to save the relationship by pulling your friends or relatives to your frequency by sharing about your esoteric experiences the typical reaction is blank stares thinking you are crazy. In my case some have gotten aggressive because they have a hard time to accept that their problems and pains in life are all self created to basically sabotage their chances to be truly free. Religious people will have a hard time to accept that the god they pray to is actually the ego god invented by insane but ingenious individuals and extraterrestials who are here to control mankind. In many cases, many people awakening who told their relatives about their esoteric discoveries has led them to mental hospital only to be misdiagnosed with mental illness by greedy doctors. This happened to me guys so keep this hidden knowledge to your self. Many are not mentally prepared for this stuff anyway so let them be and wallow in their misery until they have also had enough of their mental and physical pains. Namaste.
Awakening from the dream of life (and death) is a process that will take time. It can take lifetimes (I hated this idea) because we are so rooted into the dream. It will most likely not be an easy process because our global system was made in a way so that nobody is able to awaken from our dreams of life and death.
For thousands of years The illuminati/ Cabal have been plotting with advanced beings/ extraterrestials by building a reincarnation harvesting grid, “the light at the end of the tunnel” which many people describe in their near death experience, but a light which lures our souls to come back to this world over and over again after we die, only to repeat the same nine to five slavery again and again with total amnesia regarding who we really are, and to be fed with false history about our self by a world outside of us. They have sodomised and exploited our souls for a long time. You cant beat the prison system (our world) because it is foolproof but you can escape it trough realizing that you are the dreamer and have the power to change the dream into a dream that hastens your awakening away from the dream and stop reincarnation. This is what the illuminati fears the most which is why they created the concept of Darwinism that completely denies the power of our minds and rendering us to believe in a physical brain. The brain is projected by the mind! Not other way around! Evolution never occurred because it was all just a bad dream of separation which is meant to keep us in a literal sleep. The world and the events/story you perceive are inevitable effects of separating from god which means, again, that its bound to be chaotic. Our bodies, that stand for individuality, are symbols of separation. The death of the body is a symbol of separation. The death of a star is a symbol of separation. Even things like peeing is a symbol separation because the water in your body is separating it self from your body! So everything here stands for separation.
Many people like your family and friends are most likely hypnotized by the world which means if you start to awaken you will most probably create tension around them because you are challenging their sense of reality by your very being. There will be times when people who are unaware of the dream nature of the world will uncounsiously attack and try to lure you back into concensus thinking, back to what is familiar and safe for them to understand, so you will have to say no many times because you now know that the only way to save this world is to truly awaken from the dream, by slowly realizing that we are not bodies and thus be a demonstrator of true inner peace to others because you know our lives as bodies are made up so there is nothing to fear. This is the ideal state for all of us and we can get there!
Today I want to list some comforting realizations.
1. Although the world was build to attack those who awaken from the dream you will be able to take those attacks less seriously. You will be able to take EVERYTHING less seriously because you are slowly understanding it is all just an imagination/dream. Awakening does not guarantee a successful life in terms of the world, the part of you that still wants to experience individuality/ separation as a body will not like this idea of Awakening which is why our desire for separation will manifest all these challenges in our lives to keep us distracted from our mind and keep us asleep until the desire to be separated is gone. When the desire to be separated is gone then it is time for fun. The dream can get more intense, beautiful and weird the more you awake. If you look at Jesus life, who was awakened completely, his life ultimately led to his crucifixion, so Awakening does not guarantee you millions of dollars or any of that Law Of Attraction stuff. The true miracle of your life is to experience that you are the dreamer of the physical universe. That is Enlightenment. All else will fall into place naturally. It is a gradual process otherwise our biological small self could not take it. The process of awakening is also a very physical process where our brain gets rewired to receive larger dose of universal energy trough our spines which is why it is very common to rest a lot at this time.
2. Realizing you are the dreamer means that every animal you see are also you. You will have more abilities to communicate with them and animals will appear more human to you. You may lose the desire to eat meat. Eating meat is just a Rothchild bullshit idea anyway.
3. You will live a life of contentment and gratitude no matter how tough things get.
4. Although your career, your hobbies, people and even family members may fall away, and you will be in a limbo all alone, you will eventually attract the right people into your life who are on the same journey with you because like attracts like. There is no more ego based agenda (fear of being alone, seeking validation, likes, gossip etc) in the relationships but true, honest and unconditional communication. In other words, slowly realizing life is just a dream leads you into a more feiry tail experience of life. Everything is more synhcronistic and different opportunities start to come up. The dream basically gets weird, beautiful and sometimes very intense especially in night time sleep.
5. Even when the dream can get very intense to a point it overwhelms you, you just know there is a higher purpose behind everything that happens in your life. Your everyday life has meaning.
6. Your body becomes more lighter and easier to carry around. It doesn’t feel like a heavy meat sack anymore.
7. You will eventually stop judging other people and your self because there is no sense in judging something which is only a dream. Judgement is basically a decision to make sin real in your mind and you will eventually learn not to do that for the sake of your own well being and others.
Hope you liked the list. These are based on my own understanding and not all are meant to resonate with you. I do feel however that you will find some common elements with your own awakening and most importantly, realize that you are not alone in this intense, beautiful and weird journey.
Your own self realization is the greatest service you can offer the world.” -Sri Ramana Maharshi
Now I want to keep it simple and list out some what might be disturbing realizations of what we thought to be our lives here on earth. These are not meant to scare anybody. This will be discovered by everyone when they are ready anyway. Hopefully this resonates with you.
1. You slowly realize that God did not create the world because the world and the people are literally happening in your mind. You are the dreamer (creator) of the world and the people. The dream is the way it is because it is a dream of separation from god (a.k.a oneness) so its bound to be chaotic. It is a miscreation of thought which resulted into a very real experience which we now believe as reality and have completely forgotten its all made up. Our five senses (sight, hearing, smelling etc) are all made up in a dreaming mind.
2. Since you are the dreamer of the world and its people, all the people in your life are literally YOU! You do not really have parents that gave you life nor are the children you seemed to give birth to really your children. They are literally all fragmented parts of you because its all in your mind. Just like during night time bed when you sleep and dream a dream of places and people:all the people and places are you because they are within you. Realizing your children or parents are dream figures can be heartbreaking at first but this does not mean that your love for them will change or diminish. You will actually view them as powerful as you are and enjoy the time with them even more!
3. The dream world we seem to live in has been hijacked by selfish Satan worshipping beings the pop culture know now as illuminati. They created a man made system (religion, vatican, government, television, banking system, bureauocracy, hollywood etc) to keep us unaware of the fact that we are not really in the world at all but are minds dreaming as if we are in the world or matrix. In other words our entire system was created to keep us mindless/To not be aware we are the dreamer. Their main weapon to keep us believing in the reality of the body is trough fear by using false flag events such as 9/11. They have used religion to inject the concept of sin and guilt into our minds which only perpetuates the false state of being a body. They have basically lied to us about everything by using ancient sorcery they learned from other humanoid races thousand of years ago and still continue to work together to maintain people in an eternal state of sleep and never get out.
4. You will eventually have to forgive these satan worshipping beings (illuminati) because they are fragmented parts of you. In other words if you would be in their shoes fully engrossed in their experience of being a separated individual and have access to such power, you would have done the same decision to enslave humanity. No big deal. Forgive and let them go. They have already lost the battle because so many are fed up with the way the world is running right now and it is this organic way of being fed up with everything that catapults you into the path of Awakening from the dream of separation which is the life we all live in as one. There is only one of us appearing as many, and that one is you. You are the dreamer and there is nobody else.
5. The body is actually a deformity of thought. In other words the body is an after effect of a mind that is sick. Any sickness in the body is ultimately demonstrating a sickness that is in the mind which needs to be healed in an mental level trough self-work. The last sickness to overcome is the death of the body.
7. Friends and family members who are heavily invested into the dream or matrix will naturally fall away from your life. You will not be able to save them because the decision to awaken must be chosen by themselves. The beginning stages of Awakening is a lonely and gradual process where you slowly realize you are not here at all and to realize you do not exist can be horrifying. Realizing you do not exists takes an enormous courage and willingness so you can not force your loved ones to follow your path. You can also call awakening a conscious way of dying of the old life to the new and who wants to die really?
8. Although there are many moments of bliss and communication with god (oneness) during your awakening process you will also be intensily sensitive and aware of the state of our world which is dwelling in insanity and pain on many levels including universally. You will most likely be angry to the people around you of why they are not seeing they way you see things.
9. Hell and heaven are real only in the sleeping mind that dreams. The more you awaken the more you have to face your fears which may include embracing demonic or alien entities (usually during night time sleep). Being dedicated to truth means to embrace the bad things as well not only the comfortable ones which only our egos would attach to. Facing your fears includes more subtle experiences as well such as facing being broke, being homeless, losing a loved one, being alone etc. The purpose is to overcome these obstacles by trust and be willing to see that they are all part of the dream to keep you in fear which perpetuates the state of sleep. There is nothing to fear but that can be only experienced when you truly know you are the dreamer and not a dream figure (a body)
10. Awakening process is about getting used to letting go of the false self which is the life we think we live. It is about getting more in tune with your inner self (the dreamer) and ultimately have the courage to leave the dream entirely, not trough death but trough Enlightenment/ purification of mind that dreams a nightmare of life and death.
Stay tuned for the next article. I will try to write something nice this time. In the mean while, hear this. A song about reality!
If you read my articles you have probably noticed that I refer our physical universe, the entire cosmos as only a dream. It is not a new idea in fact Hinduism, the oldest religion of our world, has also addressed the world to be not real, it is only a projection of our minds. There are many teachings of Jesus found in the Gospel of Thomas that are pointing to this exact same experience, not to mention buddhism that also supports this. So what I have said so far is nothing new and thank god more and more people are awakening in to this! Some people do this in obscurity so that they wont be called crazy or killed and some are more vocal about this subject… Who might get killed eventually. Lol.
However, telling a person that the world is just a dream is not really a good motivator to really dive deeper to realize how much we have invested our hopes and dreams of finding happiness here on earth which is really a dream of a world. A life which is not real. So what happens to those very few who are ready to listen and embark on a journey of truth or Self discovery is that they will go trough a lot of hardships in life so that they can organically dis-invest and ultimately release their hopes and dreams of ever finding happiness in this world. That their happiness can only be found in god. It will be a process of letting go from a lot of things so that ultimately all that is left is you and god. At first loss is perceived as bad and we will regret of ever answering the call but the more you lose the more you have to be with yourself, in your mind, and become conscious that you are in fact a mind dreaming being a body in a physical universe. A convincing dream of separation from god. A nightmare state. Once you realize you are the dreamer you are however free!
Deeper in to the rabbit hole.
Not remembering about our true origin as spirit, most of us have gotten comfortable with our seeming reality which is only a projection of a world. Some have a secure life like a secure job, house and friends and family and are never motivated to deeply question what we collectively pass as life here on earth which clearly has good in it but also a lot of pain and suffering.
Although it is clear that there is suffering in the world, when someone over learns the world and sets him self with specific skills he or she has developed and struggled for for many years, it becomes very difficult to let go of attachment to the thinking mind which has carried out the mortal thoughts of survival in this world for so long. Mortal fear to survive in this world separated from gods love has become an addictive state now. The addiction to mortality is so addictive that we have over cluttered our minds with thoughts of mortality and concreted our selves in to a projected image of the thought of mortality (separation) which is the body and the universe that goes with it, perpetuating mortality even further to a point mortality is all we know about now. We have basically made it more harder for ourselves to realize life is but a dream, that we are eternal beings or spirits that have mistakenly invested our entire belief into a world and a body. Everybody is in amnesia due to the convincing nature of our universe and has bought in to the dream by trying to measure and analyze it and making it real. The universe pretends to be mysterious so that we seek answers outside of ourselves and never realize we are the universe. There are however those who end up “suffering” a lot because they did not learn the world really well so they never got comfortable here. They end up living like a wreckloose, a renegade of some sort, never being able to set foot into this world and ground themselves. As much as they try to understand the world; relationships and the world it self are simply too complicated to be understood “so why even try” they say usually preferring entertainments, drugs, creativity and so on to escape their pain with their discontent with this world.
Are you one of these people? Congratulations! As crazy as it may sound, it is these people who are on the grandest journey of all, which is to awaken from this universe we know as life. They are following the path of enlightenment without even knowing it… until things in your life starts to get worse…. And worse and worse!
Nothing seems to be working in your life, you dont resonate with your old friends and biological family anymore, you get kicked out from your job, your career, even your own house. You are always tired and have lost passion in life. You feel weary of everything and your night time dreams are demonic sometimes.
Welcome to the initiation of your awakening.
Awakening is not only about bliss and light, it is also about tearing the aspects of yourself that have rooted you deeper into the matrix or dream. In other words, the reason many things will go away is because they were blocking our awareness of gods love. We can not be aware of God if we think we are in control of life as an individual self so what happens is that everything, absolutely everything that reinforced your state as an individual autonomous self will go away. The process of letting go will not be easy because our entire culture has been made to reinforce the dream of separation/ individuality and has been taken over by a small group of people who have been using our system for millenia to root us deeper into the dream and never wake up for their own pleasure. They basically feed us with bodily beliefs to a point we get addicted to this state and fear our abstract nature as formless spirit. They even removed the concept of reincarnation from the bible and added the hell fire concept nonsense so that we stay in fear which only reinforces our state as a body. The more you realize the world really is a dream, the more your awareness as a body will evaporate. That is true freedom. That is to live in a world but not being of it.
Although the world is not a nice place due to its agenda to keep everyone asleep, awakening is very possible, in fact it is inevitable for everyone. Illuminati or whatever you want to call it can not win. If we cant hear the calling to awaken the other route of awakening is to go trough the process I just mentioned earlier which is to go trough a lot of pain and suffering to a point you have to let all of it go. In many cases it has to be a gentle process because so many are caught up into the dream to a point if everything gets taken away just like that, they can go crazy and not trust the process of awakening at all. This is not gods will.
So if everything in your life is breaking down. You really are on the right track.It will not last forever and new people, places and goals will emerge to serve your new state of being as a conscious or awakened being in a human form. The dream will continue to try to convince you you are a body trough series of problems, sometimes intense problems that overwhelms you, but you now have the ability to take things less seriously because you now know it was all just a silly game/ dream. You now know what everything in your life is for. What a wonderful gift right? The body will grow old… The body will seem to die, but you will live a consious life of growing awareness of being a spirit – that has the ability to create like god – in a human form by letting go of of the mortal thoughts, the ego, the emotions that goes with it, and allow the universe to serve you with lessons that hastens your awakening process and the disappearance of the universe.
If you are awakening, your old life has by now fallen apart or is falling apart. you think you are a failure because everything you do in societies terms has failed and does not work. Today I want to remind you to give your self a break. Remember, you are the few braves who is going trough a metaphysical and ancient process of letting go of this world called physical universe, including your own body. Awakening is not for the faint heart which is why most people are not awakening in this life time.
It is important to understand that awakening happens to people who are usually fed up with their lives and do not find the man made world sensible, in other words, it is important to honor the fact that you are miserable. Without being miserable of the world, you would place goals and desires that would only divert your attention from awakening back to the noise of the world which was architectured by the illuminati to keep people away from “hearing” god or awaken as minds. This is why it is fair to say that the world is not a nice place and should be only used as a means to awaken not to save it or make it a better place. Once you realize that you are the dreamer outside time and space, the dream world will be now under your control and you can enjoy your remaining time here.
Symphony of Death is a long short film I directed, edited and composed the soundtrack. It has all the qualities a post apocalyptic fiction fan wants to see but due to a rather personal message, the film sort of got killed off by major corporations. This is one of those arts where the artists ego, in this case my ego, gets spilled on the table and revealed publicly. A set of thinking which we all share in our insanity yet rarely anyone wants to admit that this lies within us all. Luckily I did my part in this film by dealing with it and the fight scenes still remain one of the best fight scenes in the western cinema.
A light body fight series. Namaste!
New Whitie ja Blackie kung fu web series (2006-2007) is moved to Youtube with a better quality. What is New Whitie ja Blackie? For those unfamiliar, it was an unfinished series made with zero budget which got an amount of attention during the times of physical cd:s and spreading trough windows messenger. So much dedication and hard work were done. I even got tanned for a month just to serve my blackie character. Believe it or not. It was easy to get a summer job just by mentioning Whitie ja Blackie. We were a local hit. At that time, accepting life is a dream would have been out of the question. We were so physical and dense. Watch the film so you can get my point. Regardless of the lack of subtitles in the first two episodes. It is still watchable. Check my youtube channel for more fight scenes
PS: We did receive haters as well, mostly from the professional industry who did all they can to silence me. Out of jealousy. I admit that back in the day I was ego brained enough and had all the energy to outweigh other filmmakers with less dedication to films. Not so different from my DJ times haha. A bad habit yes, but seriously, most people in Finnish entertainment do not challenge the industry so let me do it!